Dead End Friends

I have this friend, and I was talking about behind her back the other day. I didn’t say this out loud, but I thought it, "She’s a dead end." I meant it in a nice way because I had been talking with her about some pretty private stuff, and I felt pretty confident in her keeping it private. Isn’t that a great feeling? 

Have you ever had these conversations?

“Please don’t tell anyone.”

“Of course not.”

or

“Please don’t repeat any of that.”

“Oh I would never.”

or

“Please keep that to yourself.”

“I will for sure.”

It’s so nice to vent off our feelings. It’s lovely to share what we are going through. It’s healthy to be real and honest with someone, and let them share our frustrations and joys. Then we don’t feel alone. It helps to get answers to questions we were bouncing around. It’s all fun and games until they go repeat your private details like the town crier. Okay, no one has ever done that to me, but stuff happens. We’ve all failed and been failed in this area.

There are many subtle ways to break this promise. 

• We forget we weren’t going to tell.
• We generalized it, and didn’t tell the details.
• We didn’t quote anything directly.
• We told, but we didn’t tell who told us.
• We told because it was so serious it took on a new life as a special prayer request.
• We told a condensed version, without “telling.”
• We told without lying or gossiping because it was all true.
• We told because the news is going to go around anyway.

Clearly, I’m perfect and I’ve never done any of these things and that’s why I’m writing this. Just kidding. We’ve all done it. I’ve done it. We slipped. We couldn’t resist. We figured it wouldn’t hurt anything.


I’m thankful for friends who are solid secret keepers. That’s a really precious trait in a person. From the trivial to the heartbreaking, they don’t use my information as social currency because they care about me and my feelings. Over the years, these blessed people have saved me loads of embarrassment, and they have listened to hours on end of me and my fears, dreams, and ideas. When I let loose with the truth, it can come out sounding a little crazy. That’s the great thing about my Dead Ends. They are the real friends, and they can handle it. 
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