The Ugly Edge of My Comfort Zone

The New Year can be a great time for feeling optimistic about all my ideas, dreams, and goals. Woohoo. I have some great ones! I get all inspired and start making concrete plans.

And then, it happens.

My optimism is rudely interrupted. These other thoughts approach subtly, as if every great idea has an evil twin: 

• You’re doing a good thing, but probably just to make yourself look good.
• Other people who do that belong there. You, not so much.
• Maybe all your work won’t make a difference. Maybe it’s not worth it. 
• You might think you’re prepared and qualified, but you could get there and find out you’re not even close.
• If you fail at this, everyone will know, and you'll look stupid for trying.
• You should wait to get more qualified and confident before moving forward.
• You’ll be so afraid the whole time you won’t even be able to do your best.
• You’ll never be the best at that.
• Those people you admire don’t have these struggles. They’re all geniuses.
• This goal is too big. You may never complete it.

Enough already?

Confessing this is embarrassing. These words aren’t healthy, and certainly aren’t Christ-like. I can’t even blame the devil. This is the lazy, nagging, ridiculous, self-contradicting voice of fear that would keep me locked in my comfort zone. 

In all cases, I clearly need to get a better perspective settled. But I'm not on a mission to forever silence all these voices.

Maybe I'm not supposed to say this, so I'll use weasel words: some of those ugly thoughts may contain some truth. I probably won't be the best. I may fail. I may always fight certain battles. 

I’ll never be the best? Do your best anyway.

I might fail? Try anyway.

I feel underqualified? Keep working anyway.

I might feel fear? Do it anyway!

In the New Year’s Eve service, I held onto a verse from our last sermon of 2017. Moses said these last words to Israel as their leader, “Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you…” Then he encouraged Joshua, “The LORD is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed...”

Repeat yourself much, Moses? Ha. That was the voice of a man who had wrestled with crippling insecurity. He knew what they needed to hear. He understood. 

Don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid. Those are the words to live by, and it's totally possible when you serve a God who doesn't fail.

He can make up the difference for every weakness. 

He knows the deal. He’ll be there all the way.

Here’s to an amazing 2018!