One Conversation at a Time

 This post started about racism, which has been an intensely important theme in 2020. I'm thankful for my “you know who you are” friends for sharing your stories with me, and giving me a window into what it's like to be a minority in my country and city. 

In the wake of George Floyd's death, this quote from Steven Furtick stood out to me: 

“To be a follower of Christ means more

than to feel bad about injustice.

It means to fight against it in whatever way you can,

even if that’s one conversation and decision at a time.”

That’s powerful because 1. We can all do something, and 2. Our day-to-day life is where we can make the difference. 

Stretching his meaning to the Biblical sense of the word "conversation" means we can make a difference by adjusting our words, ideas, values, relationships, judgements, social media posts... etc. It's not just about what we say, or who we think we are, but it's largely defined by how we affect others.

The list below nearly wrote itself, but not because I’ve ever been a victim of racism. I haven't. It was partly because I spent my twenties studying a second language alongside a stream of fascinating people from diverse cultures. Although I often felt out of place, those years gave me invaluable experiences with people different from me. Sometimes extremely different. If you’ve never been The Only One in a room for some reason, you need to experience it. It’s powerful in ways I can’t put into words.

In that zone, I began to learn what basic kindness means between people who don't understand each other. While I wouldn't want to water down importance of the race issue, I do think the list below applies far beyond racism. To me, it's about the differences we perceive in the people around us. That could be skin color, yes, but also culture, native language, appearance, education, wealth vs. poverty, political party, or physical health, etc. 

The universal truth is we get tense and uncomfortable around different. We're most comfortable around people who look and think like us. We tend to dehumanize the ones we don’t understand, and it’s an ongoing struggle to identify and overcome our natural way of thinking. (Anyone that says we can solve monstrous problems like these with zinger memes and one-liners is lying.)

From my own experience, I know it's impossible without God's help. This is not a list of my accomplishments. Ha. No. But it’s a good list of goals. Aside from voting, I have little direct control over what goes on in my country or my city, but I can ask God to help my conversation reflect His love to everyone who crosses my path. 

This quote from Dallas Jenkins resonates too: “Being uncomfortable is exactly what Jesus oftentimes wants for us." If we're willing, we can do more than feel bad about the mess the world is in. We don't have to live in fear, tip-toeing around differences. We can embrace the uncomfortable moments, and we can be the difference.

 

You can change your conversation by... 

• Rejecting the assumptions that pop into your head because of race or other factors, and treating each new person you meet like a blank slate.  
• Admitting that racism and other discriminations are real, and that some people are angered, victimized, mistreated, and even feel physically unsafe because of them. 
• Understanding that a person may joke about their differences because they trust you and feel comfortable, but they've experienced all of the above and may not feel like telling you.
• Acknowledging that people can have radically different experiences in the same town, job, or community as you, solely because of race or other differences. 
• Listening when someone opens up about their experiences, even if you feel awkward or challenged by new information; not brushing off their experience as drama, but biting your tongue and really listening.
• Having patience with someone who doesn’t speak your language very well.
• Having patience with someone who doesn’t speak your language very well.

Oops. Did I say that one twice? 

• Learning about worlds beyond your horizon, whether a far-off country or the culture of your next-door neighbor; meanwhile, knowing that just because you have studied a culture, traveled, or learned a language, or had your own setbacks etc., you are an expert on no one's experiences but your own.
• Thinking through someone else’s perspective and feelings, even when you don’t agree with what they do or believe.  
• Welcoming and being interested in people who seem to have nothing in common with you (which probably isn't true). 
• Speaking the truth with kindness even if it will be scary and tense. 
• Not laughing at a racist or demeaning joke, no matter who said it, and no matter who laughed.
• Reminding yourself often: “I don’t know their story,” and, “I have a lot to learn.” 

I can’t solve all the problems of the world, but I want to do what I can in my circle of influence. We are not helpless! 

Our thoughts are powerful.

Our words are powerful.

Our stories are powerful.

Our listening is powerful.

Our learning is powerful.

Our humility is powerful.

Our prayers are powerful.

Our conversation is powerful.

Thanks for reading!