You know that one book...

A while ago, I had a funny experience with a bestseller. It was one of Those books. A top NYT bestseller. Read by millions. Smashing! Life-changing! Everyone should read it! All that according to the celebrity endorsements plastered all over it.

So I read it, sort of. I was intrigued at first, and was kind of gliding along, trusting that it would hold up to be a great book. It started out to be pretty interesting. Then the plot just fell off a cliff, and I did something I almost never do--I gave up. I suddenly became so annoyed with the whole thing that I skipped to the end to see if it would pull out of the mess. It appeared to have kept going downhill and ended in a mangled heap of a cliche. It was so awful that I threw it in the garbage because I couldn't in good conscience pass it on to anyone.

I'm being purposely vague because if I said the name of the book, you would know it. How in the name of literary goodness does this happen? I simply can't wrap my mind around the fact that this book was so popular.

I call my story "funny" because for me, it was. I love unique, stale, old books that turn out to be contain gems of wisdom and pearls of greatness. I love classic works of genius that are staggering, yet manageable and retain a permanent greatness. I like modern bestsellers that half my friends have read, and we can all agree. When it comes down to it, I don't really care who else likes it, as long as I liked it. I learned a tough lesson anew. No offense to the masses, but a bestseller isn't necessarily a good book, and a great book isn't necessarily a bestseller.

*Epilogue: I just checked, and I am comforted that around 750 people on Amazon gave a one-star review, as I would have. I may be a minority, but I am not alone.

A Notable Apocalypse That Didn't Happen

This almost made me laugh. I opened this article in Smithsonian magazine called "Ten Notable Apocalypses That (Obviously) Didn’t Happen." (Isn't it rare to see the word apocalypse pluralized?) This first example has had me thinking the rest of the day. "An Assyrian clay tablet dating to around 2800 B.C. bears the inscription: “Our Earth is degenerate in these later days; there are signs that the world is speedily coming to an end; bribery and corruption are common; children no longer obey their parents; every man wants to write a book and the end of the world is evidently approaching.”"

Bribery, corruption, disobedience, and what? Every man wants to write a book. How is that the a sign of The End? My thoughts are provoked. It's almost impossible to understand the Assyrians writing these words in that time period. People are talking now, today, about the change we see in the world. Kids these days. Murders, suicides and murder-suicides. We see corruption everywhere, not just in sensational types like Bernie Madoff. Politicians. Dictators. Terrorists. Pirates. Entire governments. Degenerates. Just regular liars. Oh yes, and men and women are writing books. Everyone has something to disagree with and something to say. Anyone can write a book.

I can only guess at the meaning of this Assyrian reference - especially since it was written on a clay tablet. What did the word "book" translate from, and what did it mean in 2800 B.C.? Maybe they were writing doomsday stories. Maybe people self-promoting to the point of being rediculous. The statement "every man" sounds like an exaggeration. Maybe it points to a general arrogance in the population. Whatever it was, it was awful because they obviously didn't think the human race would survive until 2009, predicting a new apocolypse for 2012.

I looked up Jesus' words spoken 2,800 years later when the disciples asked Him (a two part question) the signs of the end and signs of the Second Coming. A few key words in Jesus' reply were wars, famines, pestilences, offense, hatred, deception, deception, deception...false prophets and false miracles; there will be lots of sin and little love. I could pick up just one newspaper dated today and find an example of every single one of those things. Describing His return, Jesus never used the word "apocalypse," but He did say it would be an event like lightning -- instantaneous, brilliant and surprising. You could say that the end isn't near because people have been saying that for thousands of years, since the Assyrians. Or you could say--and I say--it must be closer than ever.

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history-archaeology/Ten-Notable-Apocalypses-That-Obviously-Didnt-Happen.html?c=y&page=1